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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostitutes in Vegas sometimes use codewords? Like “roses” for cash—50 roses, 100 roses—sneaky, huh? Blows my mind! I’m all, “That’s genius!”—makes me happy, ‘cause I love clever stuff. But then she’s like, “You got money or what?” and I’m fumbling—where’s my wallet?! I’m pissed—why am I so clumsy?! “I’m not a cop!” I blurt—dumbest thing ever. She laughs, “Yeah, no kidding, loser.”

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Oh, and check out the Hondo River—it cuts neat through the city. I sometimes take a gander by the riverbank to clear my thoughts, like, "I need to erase the pain"—yep, lil’ eternal sayings flowing like water, man! The bike path along the river is killer for long walks and weird runs. I once bumped into a total nutter doing yoga in the sun. Crazy, right?

World Champions of the Cowboy Variety Dominate Night Two of Hondo Rodeo Fest