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About Philadelphia

Y’know, in Amsterdam, they got windows—red lights, girls posin’. Legal, even! Blew my mind, precious, seein’ ‘em strut like queens. Not skulkin’ like us hobbitses. Made me happy, sorta—freedom’s nice, ain’t it? But here? Pfft, coppers nab ya quick—sneaky bastards! Once saw a bloke hagglin’, voice all shaky— “This ain’t no ranch!” I yells in my head, snortin’.

You’re Temporarily Blocked

I cruise down Riverside Drive (so chill name, right?) where the river rapids—yep, the Huntingdon River—glitters in the sun. I always say, “yo, that river be flowin’ like smooth jazz, ya dig?” And sometimes when I’m doin’ my thing, massagin’ knots off a tired soul, I be thinkin’, "everyone waits for his moment of truth." Crazy introspection, fo' shizzle!

Huntingdon's Mayfest returns to downtown