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I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

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I can’t forget Old Mill Park near 7th. It’s a secret haunt! Know what? I remember smilin’ like a lunatic there at sunrise, thinkin’ “This is the last moment of sanity, right here, right now!” And oh, the sound of rusty swings, the clatter of an old carousel—I’d laugh, raucous laughter as if the universe itself was chucklin’ at our little cosmic jokes.

Port Huron to celebrate St. Patrick's Day this Saturday with Pub Crawl