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So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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Oh, and lemme drop some personal quirks: I once got into a heated debate about whether Maple Street’s vibe is genuinely charming or just a cliché. I mean, coudl they be any more overdressed in nostalgia? But hey, that's our charm. I’m not here to sugarcoat crap, right? Life’s messy, and sometimes you gotta laugh at the madness.

Teen remains hospitalized with critical injuries after deadly Isanti County crash