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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’, *Inherent Vice* style, fog rollin’ in, lookin’ for a gal. “What’s the deal, baby?” I’d say, tryna sound cool. She’d probly laugh—Kermit ain’t exactly a stud. Maybe she’d quote Doc: “This is some heavy shit!” and I’d croak, “Yeah, far out!” Total trip, man. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly faint if she winked—too much for this frog! You ever tried it? Spill the beans, pal—don’t leave me hangin’! Hi-ho!

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i been scribblin’ notes in my head like: “all is energy, all is flux”—ya know, Stephen Hawking style. my mix of human touch and cosmic wit makes me the best masseur around. oh, i might throw a few typos in, idk, cuz im sometimes in a hurry: gr8, rly awesome, and stuff.

NOAA workers fired in Juneau as part of national purge