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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, neon lights flickerin’ like mad, lookin’ for a bit of company. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece from 2010. “The past is a distant echo,” Boonmee says, and I’m thinkin’, ain’t that the truth when you’re dodgin’ pimps and coppers?

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KELSO -- Donna DePriest's grandpa was a bootlegger. Her grandma was a prostitute, and her aunt was one of Kelso's most notorious madams.

Oh! And a bit on the residents – diverse souls buzzing and hustlin’. Every alley, every local bolt tells its tale. I once fixed my site’s glitch by chatting with a fella on Bridge Street. Brilliant chap! I wanted to tell him, “I must get away from this madness!” but we both laughed it off.

62-year-old man reported missing in Kelso