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About Houston

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Now, lemme spill some tea: my parlor is on Maple St. near the old mill. I seen some crazy stuff- regulars with wild stories. I even had a rich dude brag about his yachts. I was like, "Billionaires, man, they need a reality check!" Sometimes, I get mad, ya know? Outright pissed, like, "this isn't fair!" But I channel that energy into my work, helpin' folks relax.

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