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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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Now, lemme drop some lesser-known deets: there’s a dodgy little diner on Harris Rd. dishin’ epic breakfasts. I swear, I lost count of the times I popped in for a greasy fix – crunchy bacon, eggs, and dreams served up all crispy-like. And yo, I ain't even gonna lie – sometimes that place makes me mad, mad 'cause I get so hooked I don't wanna leave.

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