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About Dallas

I roll up, shades on, feelin like a champ. This chick struts over—legs for days, skirt shorter than a jobber’s career. “What’s your name?” I growl, all Hulkster bravado. She’s like, “Does it matter?” Ha! Cold as ice, brother! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—gimme somethin to work with, lady! I’m thinkin, “I lie to myself all the time,” like in *Memento*. Am I even here for this? Brain’s spinnin.

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Oh my gosh, Ladera-Ranch is, like, totally a place that makes your heart skip a beat, y'know? So, lemme tell ya – it's got these cute little streets like Valencia Drive and Canyon Crest, where the sun hits just right, and you can literally breathe in life, baby! Happy Birthday, Mr. President. I swear, every corner here is like a little secret party waiting to happen.

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