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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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I got a comical piece in my head often when I pass by local dives off Evangeline Thruway. Settling into a greasy spoon diner? It’s like a scene straight outta "A Serious Man," where nothing ever goes as planned but everything’s oddly satisfying. You might overhear a conversation or two that make you think, “Well, sh*t, that’s life.”

New West Lafayette park opening May 22 to feature pond, playgrounds - and owls