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About New York City

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

The neighborhoods are tight, man. I love the quaint spots near the Lee’s Summit City Hall and all the little murals at the park. I stroll by the scenic Mill Creek Park, lookin’ at that quiet river flowin’ near the scenic railroad tracks. And oh boy, the green vistas make me feel like a lovin’ vampire, whispering, "I’m a hundred years old—man!"

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