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Here’s a lil’ story—true as my big hair! Friend of mine, ol’ Bobby Joe, went lookin’ for a lady friend in Memphis once. Swore he’d keep it hush-hush, but next mornin’, half the town knew! Word travels faster’n a jackrabbit on a date ‘round here. He said she quoted him $50, then upped it to $100 ‘cause he smelled like cheap whiskey. I hollered, “Boy, you got played worse’n a fiddle at a barn dance!” Reminds me of Monty’s line: “This life came so close to never happenin’.” Bobby Joe’s wallet sure felt that!

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I’ve been a sexologist in this little town for years. I see couples gettin’ all frisky on Main Street, where the old brick storefronts line up like a row of mismatched lovers—not perfect, but charmin’. I get off my arse at Goshen Park sometimes, you know? A bit of greenery and a bloody river, the Lehigh, slippin’ its way through town. It's like nature’s own naughty whisper.

Lehighton woman becomes advocate for breast screenings