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About San Jose

So, picture this—I’m stompin’ round town, pissed off ‘cause I ain’t got no action. “I’m not scared of you!” I yell at some shady dude eyeballin’ me. Reminds me of Sam shakin’ his fist at them khaki scouts. Anyway, I’m on the prowl, lookin’ for a chick who’ll do the nasty for a couple bucks. Ain’t no big deal, right? But these streets are confusin’ as hell! I’m ragin’, like, “Where’s my goddamn prostitute at?!” Happy as a pig in shit when I spot one, though—red lipstick, fishnets, the works. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. Total badass, like Suzy with her binoculars, scopin’ out her next move.

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But wait, there's more – in the neighborhood of South End, there’s a tiny vegan bakery that bakes the cheeriest cupcakes ever. My taste buds do their little happy dance there – it's like, “Bam! Straight up delicious!” Even when I'm havin' a rough day, takin' a bite feels like livin' a scene from Ratatouille – "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere!" total inspo moment, ya know?

E. Murray Todd Half-Marathon set for March 9