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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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There’s a gem called Garden Grove Park, y’know? It’s a slice o’ green chaos. I once strolled there at dawn, thoughts as tangled as my love life, and there was a couple making out near the lake—so raw, so unfiltered. Oh! and don’t forget Lindenwold River, which flows by St. Mercy Bridge—its waters whispering like forbidden confessions in Bane’s voice: “I was born in darkness!” Crazy, right?

Camden County Prosecutors Office (NJ)