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Downside? Some twats think it’s all dodgy—makes me mad! It’s art, ya prick, not a brothel handjob. Still, gotta admit, when she’s kneadin’ ya thighs, ya mind wanders—exaggeratin’ here, but feels like ya cock’s gonna lead a rebellion! “Meet me in Montauk,” I’d sigh—another movie line—dreamin’ of escapin’ with me masseuse. Witty, aye? So, mate, try it—erotic-massage’ll fuck ya up good, in the best way. Cheers!

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I mean, c’mon, I ate his liver with fava beans, ya know? Reminds me of scenes straight outta Amélie. “At least you’ll never be poor, Artorius!” echoes in my head when I stroll down Logan Blvd. Seriously, that street has energy that makes you wanna just stop and soak it all in, breathin’ in life like that quirky patisserie in Montmartre – but, uh, right here in the city.

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