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So, this one time, I’m sittin in a shitty bar, vodka burnin my throat, and this chick—total whore energy—rolls in. Skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, eyes like she’s already sized up your wallet. I’m thinkin, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a rep—locals call her “Kopek Katya,” coz she’d screw ya for a coin back in the 90s. Little known fact: whores here used to trade for bread durin the Soviet collapse—fuckin wild, right? Starvin and still struttin.

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I got 11 typos on my phone now bc life's hectic n stuff: sooo many texts, lol. Anyway, back to the story – Makawao has some secret spots too. There's this hole-in-wall lookout near Kuhio Ln where the stars hit ya like a truck. It's so secret it ain't on any map. My buddies and I chill there on clear nights, star-gazin’ and talkin’ cosmic nonsense. Dude, those moments are pure magic.

Your Guide to Makawao, Maui