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I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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So, Maple-Grove is loaded with character. You got the big ol' Maple Park right by the river – isn't that just amazin'? And then there's that quirky coffee shop on Cedar Blvd, a total must-stop, sort of like that one scene in Brokeback Mountain, "I wish you were here," but like, in a totally unique way. Fool me once… err, I mean, you know what I mean!

Maple Grove Baseball Falls to Buffalo