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But surprises? Once got a dude instead—total shock! “What the hell?!” I yell. He bolts, I’m laughin—absurd shit. “The town’s gone mad,” like in the movie. Still, I’m picky—clean, discreet, no drama. Hate the loud ones—screechin like crows. Give me a pro who knows the game.

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So first up – Unionville. Man, Unionville is iconic. It’s got these cobblestone streets, soooo quaint, and you'll see cute little cafes right next to the old town square. I often stroll along Main Street (yeah, there’s a Main St, and it’s a gem) and reflect on how families bond over a cup of joe. Sometimes I get all nostalgic, thinking “Moolaadé!” Like in that movie when community spirit hits hard – it’s all life-changing, you know?

Portland's Markham Elementary reopens nearly a year after ice storm closure