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I’d be all, “D’oh! Why ya doin’ this, lady?” if I met one. Prolly get no answer – they’re tough as nails. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em! Unions! Like, “Mmm… donuts,” I’d join that club just for the perks. Imagine me, Homer J., waddlin’ into a red-light joint, askin’ for a discount. Ha! Fat chance – they’d charge me double for blockin’ the door.

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Man, the vibe is off the charts—so quirky and quaint. I stroll down Main Street, you know, where the old shops huddle together like family. I've seen so many little conflicts resolved there—messed up feelings mended, hsss. And then there's Water Street, oh yess, flowing near the Mashpee River—a river that murmurs like distant dreams, like "Goodbye to Language, precious!" I swear, when I pass by, my inner self shouts, “we do it, yes we does, precious!”

Mashpee Select Board candidates on environment, community spirit and leadership