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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Also, ever checked our local artsy district? Around Union St. you see these wild murals – each tells a story of struggle, love, and triumph. Sometimes I get a rush, like Beyoncé on stage—powerful, fierce and relatable. "Slay!" indeed, champ!

Maumee Council urged to bring back committees, advisory boards