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Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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Let's talk neighborhoods: Westside’s the best – full of quirky cafés and offbeat art galleries. I got lost once on Mulberry Lane, so narrow it nearly swallowed me whole (true story, man!). “You see, in every twist, lies a chapter of pain and joy!” Like a Tarantino screenplay, everything is raw and unfiltered. East End, however, deals with its own chaos, having a mad mix of vintage shops and homemade ice cream joints—the kind where you order “uh, scoops of existential dread, please,” all while twisting and giggling at life's absurdity.

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