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About Chicago

So I’m strollin’, boots still smoky froma jump. This dude on the corner—shady, twitchy—says, “Yo, you want company?” I’m like, “Bruh, I just fell from the sky.” He don’t care, points me to this chick. She’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* vibes—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction.” This ain’t war, but my heart’s racin’. Absurd, right? Me, a firefighter, chasin’ tail like it’s overtime pay.

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Two things I didn't think would be so involved in my day, mayonnaise and prostitutes. Let's start with the first one.

Oh hey, so lemme tell ya bout Mayo (us)! I'm a fambly psychologist livin' here for years, and oh man, this town's got so many quirks! Picture this: narrow streeets like Maple St, all twisty and turny, leading to the big ol' Broadway thaat buzzes like mad. There's Lincoln Park – yeah, that one – where kids play while parents chat about life’s craziness. It's like, "One million dollars!" freakin' vibes all around!

Cinco De Mayo drink-ideas