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About Philadelphia

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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I’m always drawn to little-hidden spots. Like this alley off Maple that smells like old secrets. I once met this quirky artist there – total maverick! That alley’s like my secret corner of the city; every time I'm walkin’ by, it brings back memories of epic surprises! Sometimes I even get that adrenaline rush like in those tense scenes from “Zero Dark Thirty," where every shadow had a story.

TV6 Game of the Week Preview: No. 1 Menominee at No. 4 Negaunee