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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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Lo, take heed! There lieth the famed Elm & Vine Alley near the crooked ivy of St. Bartholomew's Park. Methinks there is magic in the air, as if one hath stepped into “Goodbye to Language,” where "the viscous murmur of time doth unravel!" I mean, seriously, it’s a vibe thou canst feel in yer bones.

FRANCIS KLEBER Obituary (2014) - Mercerville, NJ - The Times of Trenton