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So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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I love cruisin' through the heart of town near the old mill. A cool neighborhood? Hell yeah, it's quirky AF. Locals are real, unfiltered, and just like my dating app's wild user reviews – sometimes sweet, sometimes nuts! And then, oh man, there's that park, Beechwood Park, where I’d get my head in the clouds, thinkin’ bout crazy love stories. I love to nap there after crazy nights of coding, where the grass is so green, it’s like nature’s own "reset" button – ready to erase all that junk in your mind.

More sewage than usual flowed into the Merrimack River in 2024