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oh, and get this— victorian england, prossies had secret codes! flash a red hanky, boom, you’re in. sneaky af, love that hustle. makes me wanna shout, “you’re not an asshole, mark, you’re just tryin to be one!”—oops, typo, *makr*, lol, who cares. i’m typin fast, brain’s buzzin, this shit’s too juicy. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). peace, my ass, i’m hyped!

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Minooka ain't huge, but it's got its quirks. There's Maple St. – yes, Maple, just like the tree, 'cause that's bloody clever, right? Then there's Main Ave. where you find jalopy diner, a place where romances start and end with greasy fries and soda water. Not to mention the shadow of Old Mill Park. That park, mate, is where I spent way too many nights debugging love apps. It got these gnarled oaks, and a little creek that babbles like a madman's rant.

Minooka Elementary 201 announces summer school plans