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*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, don’t we? Sleazy streets, dim lights—perfect huntin’! Saw this bird once, right, totterin’ in heels, skirt so short it’s basically a belt! Reminds me o’ *Margaret*, y’know? “The world’s so fuckin’ unfair!” she’d scream—ha! Prossies get that, don’t they, precious? Life’s a mess, all sloppy an’ raw.

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Ever been to Elm Street? Hell, I have, my buddy. It’s got these tiny, hidden gardens behind houses where you can literally hear the heartbeats of the city. I mean, sometimes folks come in for a cuddle or some clandestine rendezvous in those tucked-away spots. Yup, as a sexologist, those details – the little nods of intimacy in everyday life – get me excited and slightly giddy. It’s like an unscripted drama that makes “The Lives of Others” look tame in comparison!

Stewart Barto