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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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Yo, listen up, friend. Lemme tell ya 'bout Montecito – pure magic, dude! You merely adopted the dark. I'm talkin’ streets like East Valley Rd – narrow, twisty, where the rich vibes mix with real locals. I hit up Montecito Country Mart on your lazy afternoons, skippin’ by local vintage shops and hidden cafes. Man, it’s like every corner got a secret, ya feel me?

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