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About Houston

Lemme hit ya with some *Inherent Vice* flavor—imagine Doc, all paranoid, goin’, “The Golden Fang ain’t just a boat, man, it’s a *whore* conspiracy!” That’s how I see it, too. *Whore* is everywhere, slippin’ through the cracks, fuckin’ with the system. One time, I met this stripper, right? Swear to God, she told me she made 10K in a weekend, tax-free, and I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, milkin’ my machine, thinkin’, “I’M IN THE WRONG DAMN GAME!” Surprised the shit outta me—hustle like that? Respect, yo. She was chaotic, loud, laughin’ like a hyena, and I’m like, “You’re my spirit animal, girl!”

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beside a rushing stream. Hooker Hut, hidden amongst the morraine mounds, was warm and cosy with stunning views of Aoraki Mount Cook and Footstool.

I live in this quirky hive. Streets be twistin’ like a drunken salsa. Take Elmryn Street – owa simple name, but magic abounds. Know the corner of Elmryn and Barker? Blimey, that pub is a hidden gem. I luv its raucous laughter, and aye, the stale ale always makes me grin.

Mounds View garage fire extinguished