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About Los Angeles

So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

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The neighborhoods here are on fleek. Uptown’s buzzing with art and slick cafes – but oh man, let me tell you – Eastside? That place is so off the chain, it’s like a continuously surreal montage, wonder n wonder! I even got a secret stash of vintage vinyl from a tiny shop on Birch lane – one of my fave spots, no joke. Wifi? Nah, just analog soul, baby.

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