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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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Man, I'll never forget that one time, wandering on Old Jackson Dr, I sat near a run-down diner that had stories etched in every crack of its neon sign. Its vibe was chaotic but comforting. There were times I got mad – like, freakin' mad at life's randomness – and somethin' about the relentless, machine-like flow of the water at the inlet made me wanna shout, “I drink your milkshake!” not to be dramatic but as a cosmic catharsis.

Popular Myrtle Beach area restaurant has plans to move into former TGI Fridays location