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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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Now, if you're cruising the neighborhoods, hit up Shoreline Drive. That route along Lake Michigan? Bro, it’s insane. The water glimmers and my brain sometimes just throws a fit over how pretty it is. And chances are you’ll stumble upon secret hideouts like the mellow vibes at Pere Marquette Park. I once chilled there with my buds, talkin' bout crazy code and life, and we laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. It was one of those days where every typo I made in my messages felt like art. oh shit, typos, huh? (I just did one... or two? Who keeps count? haha)

See inside Muskegon’s future Hackley Castle luxury hotel