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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap like sexual-massage. Some gal rubbin’ ya down with oils, promisin’ relaxation? Bullcrap. I’d rather wrestle a bear. But fine, I’ll talk about it, since you’re beggin’. Sexual-massage, it’s this shady deal where folks get naked, hands wander, and it’s supposed ta be “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my ass—sounds like a hippie scam. I saw this flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*, damn good movie, 2009, Juan José Campanella. That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya hard. Makes me think sexual-massage is for suckers chasin’ somethin’ empty.

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There’s one park, the Nesconset Park. Look, it's a quiet patch with trees, benches, and a sandbox for kids—if you’re into nostalgia, yeah! And oh, the local shops around, like the one on Park Ave, they got quirky little cafes where you can sip coffee and daydream ‘bout love. I once met a coder there who coded his soul away into a dating app algorithm…crazy stuff, seriously!

Walter Hilbert Obituary (2016) - Nesconset, NY - Newsday