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Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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Oh, baby, welcome to Norridge, us–it’s groovy as hell, yeah! So listen up, cuz this place is wicked cool in its own little way. I mean, you got your main drag, Elm Street, where all the funky cafes and dive bars line up like a parade of good times. One of my fav haunts is right by the old marker near Central Park (not that big, but man, it's a vibe) – spilled my heart and my drink there more times than I can count, so many rad memories!

Juvenile taken into custody after striking girl with motorbike in Norridge: police