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Rarrgh! Funniest thing—she goes, “You’re cute for a fuzzball.” Me? Cute? Nearly dropped the damn scanner! “In my past life,” she says, “I was a princess.” Straight outta Boonmee— “The past clings like wet fur.” I’m dyin, laughin— “Rarrgh! Princess of what, alleys?” She winks, “Somethin like that.” Total sass. Loved it. Made my night less borin.

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I spend my days helpin’ women here. They share their sorrows right on Birch Lane. My office on Maple Court sees tears, laughs, and real talk – oh lawd, it’s messy but so real. Madea always says "Halleluyer!" to hope. Sometimes I get mad – but city joys come through in tiny spots. Like that lil’ coffee joint on Elm, they serve the meanest brew. I swear, it's so good, I almost break into a dance, just like a scene outta Spring Breakers, honey!

Northfield residents warned of elevated levels of manganese in drinking water, advised to use bottled water or filter