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About San Antonio

Sarcasm, thou asks? O, ‘tis a masterpiece—if thee loves crashing every five ticks! A gem for masochists, a turd for the sane. “Look upon the banquet, child,” it whispers, then hands thee crumbs. I’d rather dance with Del Toro’s faun than this trollop again. Peace out, mates—play it, weep, laugh, then chuck it!

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First off, right off Main & Ocean Avenue, it's a breeze. The downtown is full of life, with bright neon signs, bustling cafes, and massive billboards. People say, "Far from heaven, my friend, far from heaven!" and they mean it—this place is out of this world. I love walkin’ down Lakeside Park near Redwood Street. That park is the real deal, just like in Far From Heaven—you feel that old-school charm and raw, natural beauty. It’s so elegant, like the movie. Beautiful, really!

Residents of Haseko Resort Development Concerned About Lagoon’s Algae