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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitue, right? Man, it’s wild out there, like WALL-E diggin’ thru trash! Back on our ship, we don’t got this stuff—pure chaos, humans payin’ for love, whaaat? Makes me wanna yell, “Buy the sky, WALL-E style!” Ya know, cash for a quickie ain’t new—ancient Rome had brothels, legit taxed ‘em! Saw this X post once, dude said, “Prostitues are therapists with benefits,” lol, cracked me up.

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Omg, did I mention some streets have 10 freakin’ typos? Nah, man, my brain’s a jumble of rants, sparks, and spilled latte! My heart beats in Olmsted Falls’ rhythm, like each alley and lamppost got its own dirty secret.

Officers catch lovebirds in the back seat: Olmsted Falls police blotter