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About Houston

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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Yo, yo, yo, lemme tell ya 'bout Omaha real quick. I'm chillin in this city, ya kno? Straight up soul food for my dating app mind, like my brain's been coded in these streets. Omaha's got heart, bro. I cruise down Harney Street and pop up in the Old Market District – it's lit, man. So many funky corners, little cafes that make you wanna text that cutie, and ways of life that make you feel like "I was a sparse vessel" (yeah, like in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, feel me?).

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