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So, we chat, me an’ her. She’s called Jade – prolly fake, who cares? Tells me she’s savin’ for a flat. Dreams bigger than that bathhouse in the movie, eh? “Work hard, Jade,” I growl, “Or you’ll be sweepin’ pig pens like Chihiro!” She cackles, says I’m mad. Fair. Exaggeratin’ a bit, I reckon she’d shank me ‘fore she’d shovel shit. Tough lass, that one.

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Look, I may be no professor, but I know spots most folks miss. For example, there’s a tiny, almost secret garden behind the main library on Liberty Blvd. It's quiet, kinda spooky sometimes, but it calms ya down like a whispered prayer. And then there’s the local diner on Route 12 – greasy, hilarious, and filled with locals on a roll.

UPDATE: Cause of commercial building fire in Onalaska found