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About Philadelphia

Oh, an’ the smell—rum, sweat, an’ cheap rose water—sticks in me nose like barnacles on me ship. Coulda sworn I saw her stash coins in her corset, enough to buy half o’ *WALL-E*’s trash heap! Funny, innit? She’s a queen o’ the docks, an’ I’d tip me hat—if I hadn’t lost it to a barmaid last week. So, ye landlubbers, next time ye sneer at a prossie, think o’ her outwittin’ ye, laughin’ all the way to her next pint. Savvy?

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Onalaska (us). I'm a massage parlor owner here, ya know, and I seen a lot. This city, it's kinda like a hidden gem, man. The vibe? Deep, soulful, sorta like in Timbuktu – “Our time is short, but our hearts are long,” I always think that, ya feel me?

Ben Barton selected as School District of Onalaska Superintendent