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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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I remember once, a customer asked, “Whyy, is Orono so special, precious?" And I said "Because... because it's like the movie line... 'Meet me in Montauk' joining hearts." And then we swears, yes, we made a moment, err, imperfection.

Boys basketball: Orono has state tournament in their sights