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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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dunno, i got mad sometimes – the potholes, the neon graffiti, and the occasional random ruckus, disturb the peace unexpectedly. but then, it makes me happy too, its unpredictable twists remind me of those wild dating app convos my job throws at me. sometimes, seriously, life just cuts off thoughts mid-sentence! "Children of Men" didn’t even prepare me for such raw moments.

Packed meeting in Owosso over proposed water rate hike: ‘We can’t afford this’