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About Phoenix

I got happy as a pig in slop tryin’ it once—felt like Joy and Disgust dukin’ it out in my head. Joy’s all, “This is amazin’, yeehaw!” but Disgust’s like, “Ew, why’s it so sticky?” Got me angry too, tho—paid good money and the fella didn’t even hit the right spots! I’m hollerin’ in my brain, “Boy, you ain’t no masseuse, you’re a dang tease!” Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada’s got parlors poppin’ up like daisies, but don’t tell the preacher!

Frank commentary from a semi-retired call girl

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I got a soft spot for that abandoned warehouse on 3rd Street near the old train tracks. It’s a hideaway for creative types and lost romantics. Crikey, it’s a bit mad, but then again, isn’t that life? Sometimes I sit there and think, “Oh, Dogville, you mystify me!” and imagine a romance swirling amidst broken dreams. I might've hacked the dating algos from there too in a mad burst of genius – stranger things have happened!

Gainesville-area FHSAA playoff picks: Will Buchholz, Newberry, Hawthorne continue win streaks?