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We chat, she’s talkin’ rates—50 bucks, quick gig. Little known fact, man—some girls got codenames! Hers was “Raven,” like some spy shit. Cool, right? Made me happy, ‘cause I dig mystery. But then, she’s all, “No kissing, just biz.” What?! Mr. T don’t like cold vibes—made me mad as hell! “You’re breakin’ the rules!” I yell, echoin’ Monty’s crew. She shrugs, “Take it or leave it.”

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This guide should help you navigate Paramount's collection of sexy films and tv shows, separating the ones that are worth watching from the ones that are.

I gotta admit, sometimes I’m rather in a corr, having my head in a fog of memories – think: laughing with locals at our quirky annual “Wacky Walkathon” (seriously, the costumes were bananas) or even crying happy tears in the quiet after a perfect massage session under those unassuming streetlights along Parkside Lane. Too many typos in my head sometimes, ya know? err, sorry, lost my train of thought – oh, right, MASSAGE – keepin’ it real and organic!

Paramount reportedly had no idea Nathan Fielder was going to do them like that