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Gets me blood pumpin’, though—better than wankin’ to nothin’. Paid a tenner extra for—well, you know, mate. Felt like a king, then boom—guilt hits. “Someone knows,” I reckon, like that film’s fuckin’ tapes droppin’ out nowhere. Angry as hell after—why’s it gotta be so shady? Ports need a bloody manual—‘How to Find a Prostitute Without Losin’ Your Dignity.’ Fat chance!

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I run Serenity Spa near the banks of the glistening Mist River. The spa’s a humble retreat, right on Riverside Drive. I love watching the river flow past; it’s like nature’s way of telling secrets. Crazy thing – one time, a client said the river sounded like whispers from the past. I mean, seriously? Sounds like something outta a movie, right?

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