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About Dallas

So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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Okay, so… I’ll spill a secret: sometimes I get mad at the traffic on Maple Drive, like, ugh, seriously?! I swear, cars be jammin' like wannabe rock stars. But then a cool breeze hits, and I’m chill again. It’s like Spike Lee said – "I don't have time to worry about it." Classic!

Plover to pause operations Tuesday to honor former village president