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What surprised me? How damn *normal* it feels sometimes. Like, one lass told me she paid for her kid’s braces—hustlin’ for teeth! Blew my mind! I’m all, “Good for you, darlin’,” tossin’ her a wink. But then—ugh—some sleazeball stiffed her cash. Made me wanna smite him, godly style! “A prison of perfumed deceit!” I snarl, quotin’ the flick again, kickin’ a bin for effect.

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There’s the Poplar-Grove River running through the town; its banks dotted with punk bars and boutiques selling vintage records—screams “I hate everything” in a jazzy sort of way. I could go on, but frankly, I’m tired. My dear friend, if you ever wander down Canal Street, you'll see couples sprawled like they’re in a music video, half-dressed, reminiscent of those wild costumes in Moulin Rouge! (baz luhrmann, y’know). “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” but here it’s more like “Just get over it already!”

22-year-old Poplar Grove man charged with child pornography