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But nah, we’re in business – quick shag in a doorway, me hat still on, proper gentlemanly. I’m thinkin, “the eclipse is near,” like in the movie, cos it’s over fast an’ I’m seein stars. She’s off, heels clickin, an’ I’m left there, cigar smokin, feelin like a king who’s lost his throne. Angry? Nah, just knackerd an’ a bit sad – wishin she’d stayed fer a chat.

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Now, as an owner of a little retreat – my spa, Misty Waters Spa – I see more than your average Joe. I see the hidden mats of life all 'round. The local parks, like Scuttlebutt Park – oh, what a gem! – and the scenic Pacific waters whispering along the shoreline. And let me tell ya, if you wander down to the mystical shores near the Kitsap River, you'll feel as if you're caught up in a madcap cinematic head-trip, reminiscent of "Inherent Vice" ("Whoa, dude, that’s wild, man!").

Port Orchard artist Jimmy Danko channels his inner child in playful exhibit