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About Philadelphia

D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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Oh, and the local hangouts! There's this hidden café on 168th Ave NE that serves killer espresso. I always end up scribblin' notes about dating myths on napkins there. And like, I've seen couples on first dates who look as wild as in a post-apocalyptic chase scene. Reminds me: "I live my life a quarter mile at a time!" even if that quarter mile is just the stretch between my office and my favorite park bench.

Sunriver Brewing coming to Redmond mixed-use development