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But—surprise!—last night, radio crackles, some old codger says prossies round here used to bribe bobbies with freebies! Blimey, history’s wild! Got me happy, thinkin’ how they outsmarted the law. Clever lasses, eh? Still, it’s grim—*The Return* vibes, y’know? “You’re weak!”—that line stabs me. Makes me wonder, am I weak for wantin’ this? Dunno, mate, dunno.

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Problem is you need the police to put down crime, yet they also significantly contribute to crime too: "He attributes it in part to the absence of the undercover MPD Community Response Missing: Rice Lake.

You ever hit up The Rusty Spigot? It's a dive bar on Magnolia Blvd., oozin’ character and lined with pictures of badass locals, kinda like a motley crew outta "Inglourious Basterds." I swear, every time I’m there, I hear Madea screamin’ "Halleluyer!" in my head, carin’ out loud. It's mad inspirational!

Rice Lake Area School Board candidates make their cases for election